Sexy Tattoos

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Star Child

“Star child”
Magazine: S-magazine #10
Photographed by Barnaby Roper
Model: Anastasija Kondratjeva

[Via http://scriptical.wordpress.com]

Office Etiquette: Listening to Death

There are certain etiquette rules one must follow when working in an office environment.  For instance, when you belch you should really say, “Excuse me.”  The same is true when you let out an obtrusive passing of the ass.  Sure, you may not want to.  You may not even care.  But it’s just the proper thing to do.  Think of it like walking downtown with your clothes on.  You probably would prefer to be naked but politics and the law, make the task simply daunting, and being the good law-abiding citizen that you are — who only holds up liquor stores on the weekends — you must play by the rules.

Unfortunately, no matter how many envelope openers you may want to throw at your coworkers, you can not fault them for following traditional office setting protocol. Asking someone how they’re doing is a standard act for anyone who’s an active part of the working community.  The easy part is replying with a simple one-worded sentence which usually sums up the description of your mood – “Fine,” followed by an annoyed gasp of breath and a look that could melt butter.  The hard part, on the other hand, is listening to that very same coworker volunteer an update on how they’re doing [or feeling]; “volunteering” being the operative word here.  There is nothing worse than listening to someone go and on about something that you care nothing about.

Have you ever stopped to ask yourself why you should care about the stories that boring clod is telling you?  Most average working class people really don’t want to hear all the blah blah about their officemate’s night before.  They don’t want to hear about the long drive into the office or the report analysis that’s going to be discussed in further detail in the next staff meeting.   They don’t even want to hear the lame ass jokes that are guaranteed not to make you laugh.  What they do want is to be left the hell alone!  They want to be at peace with their coffee and their personal email.  They want to avoid the phony relationships, the hierarchy of supervisors and the constant telephone calls that never end.  In fact, having to speak to customers on the phone should be the only time uninteresting stories are bombarded on anyone at the office.  The average person spends 60% of their workday on the phone putting out fires in someone else’s shattering life.  The gripes, grievances, sob stories and fragmented inquiries almost drives a person to wanting to start a fire – burn that office building to the mutha-effin’ ground!

Though starting a blazing fire may be too extreme for some workers, there are other things you can do to avoid the death-like stories of your colleagues, who deem themselves an extended part of your family, considering you spend more time at the office than you do in your own home.

(1) You can rip off your ears and hand them over to whoever refuses to shut the hell up.  That way they can finish talking while you are deaf to all the world around you.

(2) You can snatch the lips right off their face and leave them on top of the water cooler.  Pulling this trick off may offend the person talking, but in the end they’ll thank you.  People do most of their chatting at the water cooler, anyway.

(3) You can take a gun and blow a hole in the side of your head.   That’ll save the undesirable chatter-box from talking you to death.

Smacking them and calling them out of name may be your first thought, but it would also be your one-way ticket to the unemployment office.   However, if you’re planning on quitting the job anyway, you have nothing to lose!  Also, don’t rule out running away from the conversation with your hands waving in the air or something as simple as passing out.  Slamming your head into a wall is also a good way to indiscreetly give someone the hint that you’d enjoy a stomach ache more than the conversation at hand.  Listening to the intricate details of someone’s boring life is just way too much to ask first thing in the morning.  Whatever way you decide to make your quick grand exit from listening to someone talk you to death, just keep in mind that it will require a little effort on your part.  And 90% of any effort is getting started.

__________________________________________________________

Quote of the Week:    “42.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.”

[Via http://hottywoodhelps.com]

AM Tattoo

i had removed the deep olive green velvet winter drape

while it had provided darkness and warmth

it’s extra layer wasn’t needed anymore

The morning light through my ever so tall turn of the century bedroom window sometimes glows

one recent morning the sunlight caught me by surprise

the warmth of it’s kiss found my morning nipple

touching me just so

oh

the shadows from the cut velvet sheers also found me

and we danced

at the center of me

brocade and light

I found the image of the beads here on my thigh so remarkably vivid

like an am tattoo

i’ve always always wanted a tatoo

did i ever tell you

one, two, three

just could never decide where to put one

or even what

any suggestions?

[Via http://anonymouslynude.wordpress.com]

Veronica and Hubman - This One's For You

I can’t find the picture of my legs that Hubman referred to in yesterday’s post…but I remember it well…when I thought that a semi-naked picture of me (no lady bits showing) was a risque’ shot worthy of the “Other”…I’m a brave bitch now…I’m showing all my shit on my regular HNT…age has it’s privilages….and rewards!!!

But I found these, that my dear, Hubman and Veronica will appreciate…

I have come a long way with my nerve, huh?  I’m thinking there’s more in my stash…not sure if it’s better or even any good…but I’ll try.

Mwah!

Cheers!

[Via http://lifeasasouthernmilf.wordpress.com]

I said I don't want to talk about it, can we talk about something, anything besides her?

Okay,
I’ll tell y’all what happened.
It was the best of times,
and now it’s the worst of times.

While I was on Twitter this morning,
I fell in Love with Martha Stewart.
I poured my heart out to her in a tweet,
I really thought we had made a connection.

It’s now been over twelve hours,
and she has not replied, not at all.

Oh she’s been on Twitter, she’s been
tweeting all day, to everyone but me.

Well fine Martha, have it your way,
I’m moving on baby. There’s other
chicks out there who would be thrilled
to tweet with me. You had your chance
lady, and you blew it.

I’m done with Martha, I’m not even
following her anymore, it’s just to
painful to read her tweets.

[Via http://leroyscandal.wordpress.com]

Super HeroiHOT #14: Psylocke

Pink, skin, purple hair, everything that's stereotypically girly and fulfilling of fantasies

I decided to go after another X-Men today.  I realize that I haven’t done a Super HeroiHOT in awhile, but such is the life.  Plus, I just uploaded images for 4 characters I plan on doing soon to ComicVine over the weekend.  So, HA!

Overall, I felt like my 1000 Things We Hate post from earlier didn’t get out my full vehemence… So, I chose a character that could do that.

APPEARANCE:

This is all you need to know about Psylocke: ass and S&M fantasies

Psylocke… You are on Vampirella’s level.  This is especially apparent during the Jim Lee era of Psylocke where she was constantly flaunting around in a thong.  What’s wrong with this costume/the whole character design is pretty obvious… nevertheless, here’s a list:

• She’s a ninja… You have the dark color scheme… mixed with about 70% skin
• All ass
• Impractical!
• Giant breasts
• Impossible frame
• Supposed to be Japanese (now) but comes usually off as European
• S&M lacey boot things
• Long, loose, purple hair (you’re a ninja…)
• Bandanna on waist should probably catch on things
• Purple Hair with a dark blue/purple costume… Seriously?

IMPRACTICAL!!!

She honestly just does not have good costume choices.  The time she spends in the hood and almost entirely covered (seen later) is a move in the positive direction, but the color palette is still impractical, the material of the clothes is too light, and I really just don’t get it.

Point your toes! Arch your back! Hang your ass!

This one point down here, is only because you don’t have a boob window… If that was the case, this would be one of the worst costumes ever.

Appearance: 1/10

PERSONALITY:

That's very concise.

Psylocke is pretty flat as a character.  I mean, she seemed more interesting back before she did that whole switching bodies things.  Some European girl riding the wave of Super Heroidom with psychic powers is a bit more compelling than another ninja.

See, that Crimson Dawn tattoo above her eye?  Apparently, that made her really angry and cold despite it saving her life.  Overall, I find her a frigid ice queen.

The problem is is that she really has this convoluted back story.  So, it’s hard to get into what drives her character aside from the regular reactionary stuff.  I want to know why she keeps going.  Why does she dress up the way she does?  Is there some purpose other than giving 11 year olds hard-ons?

Well, the way everyone has written her doesn’t provide this.  Things happen to her.  She does things in return.  She’s pretty damn easy to manipulate.  Unlike Karai, I feel that her willpower is little to none.

I would not want to go out on a date with this girl… It would just involve a lot of staring awkwardly past her hoping to see someone I know and me mostly just talking about myself for her to punctuate the conversation with a “Yes, I agree.”

Wow, a bathrobe provides her with more modesty!

Personality: 2/10

SUPER POWERS:

The costume's alright. I've always been a sucker for hoods. Jumping at Emma Frost... you're a ninja... you can do better.

The one skill that makes Psylocke stand out from the rest is her little psionic or whatever you may call it dagger thing that comes out of her arm.  It’s a pretty neat pink bedazzle that functions to slice and dice.

Other than that, Psylocke functions as your typical psychic meets assassin.

My Telekinetic Powers come out of my hips, crotch, and arched back, too!

A very frustrating thing about all of her skills is that she hardly uses them in conjunction with each other.  I mean, really, you could do a telekinetic pull while running off a wall and jumping at the person.  These two powers really work well together but she either does one or the other.

My skill set involves showing off some booty shots!

To top all of this off, Psylocke has been through a lot of shit.  Apparently she’s supposed to be a super badass ninja, and yet all of the times she’s been pulverized by (Sabretooth, mostly) loads of people really begs the question of “is she as powerful as the grandiose comics claim?”

Overall, she has a decent skill set, but the originality lies within a weapon and the mix of two of the most common powers ever… so, how far do you really expect her to go?

Super Powers: 5/10

SECRET IDENTITY:

Hey! Look! She actually looks Japanese... except they're making her read a girly magazine... way to amp up the image, Marvel!

Back when she had a European body, it seemed like she was a young teen trying to have fun and make sense of the world.

Nowadays, she basically just focuses on whatever she’s heading for/against which eliminates the opportunity for a developed secret identity.  When the occasion presents itself, she’s often characterized as a pseudo-typical (according to male eyes) woman who likes the girly things in life.

But mostly, she’s just distracted by business.

Secret Identity: 2/10

ADDITIONAL:

She’s naked in those “cute,” “ditsy,” “circumstantial,” “girly” ways a lot.

I am a princess (sort of) so you better!

Common utterances for women, I'm sure.

"Oh Dear," indeed.

- 5

Quite frankly, I just don’t see Psylocke of having any redeeming qualities aside from a tangled mess of a history, shitty costume, and lack of continuity.

This basically sums up everything impractical about Psylocke. Sure, the up shot is supposed to empower her, but it basically functions to highlight her crotch. Plus, why would you wear fabric that tears so goddamn easily? And, does she look Japanese? Because, I sure as hell don't think so.

- 5

GRAND TOTAL:

0/40

…Ummm, this kinda means that I could have gone without the whole process of judging you for Super HeroiHOT…

Here’s some advice, Marvel:
- Re-develop Psylocke’s backstory into something coherent
- Re-design her hooded costume into something ninja appropriate (see Karai’s outfit from the TMNT animated movie)
- If the redevelopment of her backstory still maintains her as Japanese, then make sure she looks Japanese in every goddamn frame, you idiots
- Develop a voice for the character… she can’t just react to every goddamn thing.  She has to have agency.  Revenge motive or what?
- While developing, make sure that there’s just as much emphasis on her normal life as that of her super-heroing
- Re-think her powers.  I like her powers, but I don’t feel like they’re utilized in the appropriate way or to the degree that she flaunts it
- Put a strong writer on the book.  I would highly suggest a woman in the vein of what Gail Simone is doing with Wonder Woman or even what Greg Rucka (a man) is doing with Batwoman

If not even one of these suggestions is followed, then you’re going to have yet another piece of shit female character trash that will continually fuck up your image for women, Marvel.

On that note, I am picking up Girl Comics, tomorrow.

Sorry, you're pretty much useless, anyway.

[Via http://mechanisticmoth.wordpress.com]