Tyra Banks says we should sleep in a bra and nothing else because we are in a constant battle with gravity but our vaginas need to breathe. I must say: she is right. But seeing as gravity has little affect on my chest (and I actually like to be able to expand and contract the cavity which houses my lungs) I ignore the bra part of her advice. I went to bed naked last night. It’s probably one of the most amazing things you can do. Maybe you know this already, but for those of you who don’t, even if you’re unlucky enough to not have a vagina, you need to try it. You won’t be sorry…unless someone walks in while you’re asleep and you’re a cover-kicker.
Tyra Banks has lots of other good advice. For example, you should always smize when your picture is being taken. To smize = to smile with your eyes. It’s basically advanced squinting. But don’t just squint, she’ll yell at you for that.
And you should be proud of your fat ass, but only after you’ve lost thirty pounds.
Furthermore, Ms. Banks thinks that, when you feel attacked by everyone, you shoud sit on the opposite side of the room from all of them and let them go around in a circle and say exactly how you’ve hurt them.
Also, Tyra Banks was rooting for you–we were all rooting for you! And she has never in her life yelled at a girl like this!
Take responsibility for yourself. So sayeth Tyra.
Anyway, sleep naked.
No comments:
Post a Comment